Officer!
Restrain !
Print this page. Cut out the Restraining Order with scissors. Forge Pope Rusty's signature (it's not as if you haven't done that before; you know he won't press charges against you). Get someone to serve the Restraining Order to that special person in your life who's been bugging the daylights out of you.
.
Order of Restraint
Oklahoma State Department of Range Management
Vital Statistics Section, Crapwood, Oklahoma

On ,
at the First Church Superior Court
in Crapwood, Oklahoma,
The Honorable Pope Rusty has Decreed
and Positively Ordained that

will leave

the fuck alone.

will not come within 500 feet of . Furthermore, will return 's collection of Barry Manilow albums and will refrain from any attempt to make contact with , either personally or through an agent.

It is further decreed that will cease making cracks about 's mom, and will stop calling 's house at 3:00am pretending to be the pizza man.

Let it be recorded that Pope Rusty will personally beat the shit out of if this Order is violated.

Ordered and Decreed this day at Crapwood by

_____________________
The Hon. Pope Rusty I., Magistrate




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