.
Certificate
of
Matrimony
Oklahoma State Department of Transportation
Commercial Trucking Unit, Crapwood, Oklahoma

On  ,
at the First Church of Divine Biker Love
in Crapwood, Oklahoma, 



and 



were united in Holy Matrimony
in the sight of the Pharting Pines Congregation, 
and within spitting distance of God,
for better or for worse,
having sworn their love
for one another
and exchanged rings, vows,
and tavern jackets.

Those whom Pope Rusty has Joined Together
Let No Man Put Asunder. 

______________________
Pope Rusty I. , MD, PhD
First Church of Divine Biker Love


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.
Cut out your marriage license with scissors. Forge Pope Rusty's signature. Buying a tasteful frame for the certificate at your local drugstore is a nice but not obligatory touch.


Since this certificate represents the sacramental rather than the legal and contractual aspects of matrimony, no official dissolution is needed if things don't work out between you and Brittany Speers the way you always planned that they would.  Simply turn around in a circle three times in front of your bathroom mirror and entone, "I divorce thee, Get away from me, and Get those autographed photos of Jerry Springer out of my apartment."


 

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