Career Week at Pharting Pines University

Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
Sex Workers Panel Panelists to include a porn star, a phone sex operator, and that guy who keeps sending you all those emails about penis enlargers.	Praying for Dollars: the Evangelical Ministries Come and hear from the professionals how to start your own TV ministry!	Making License Plates for Fun and Profit Get in on the ground floor! Panel to be held at Oklahoma State Penitentiary.	Careers in Panhandling Our panel of experts will offer you their keys to success! Learn the latest techniques! Participate in the interactive workshop!	How to Get Really Fat and Go on Disability Why spend the next 45 years sweating on the job when you could sweat at home? Donuts will be served.
The Law and You Find out how to beat a DWI, plea bargain your way out of a felony wrap, get away with sexual harassment, and scam the government.	What Can I Do with my GDE? PPU Career Counselors will discuss career options. Recruiters from McDonalds and Speedy Carwash will be on hand to answer your questions.	Your Future in Organized Crime Find out what it takes! Come and listen to mobsters discuss their career choices. Network with the professionals!	Organized Religion: What's In It For You? Panelists will include a Catholic priest, a Jehovah's Witness, a Satanist, and the only surviving member of the Heaven's Gate cult.	Tampon Manufacturing: An Expanding Field The CEO of the local tampon manufacturing facility will be on hand to answer questions and help you fill out your application.

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